Filed under: Step Life
More and more, I am realizing how lucky and fortunate I am to have Husband in my life. Although the EX is trying her best to make Husband upset, she is only making herself out to look like the insensitive, heartless and wreckless person she really is, and I’m being nice here.
Husband and I kept going back and forth about telling EX about his pending medical tests and we felt that she needed to know, as she is the mother of his other children. This summer she has started in on Husband about pending college costs for SD and how their court order says the parents shall pay for post secondary education. Well, Husband really is wondering how this will all work out and the courts will likely be the final say on this issue. Of course EX doesn’t like that answer and she is doing everything she can to try to make Husband blow his top, or have a heart attack. This way she can take it to the judge and say look, he’s not cooperating and he’s being mean. By the way, WA State doesn’t “make” parents pay for college and unless there is some extreme income involved, it’s rare that a judge would award post secondary support unless there was a significant need.
All he asked of her, after he answered her claims with her own letters and information for other issues she raised which probably upset her that she was caught in her web of lies, that she hold off on any other correspondence unless it was absolutely necessary. I would’ve given her the benefit of the doubt, as she might not have received his last letter stating this and that he was undergoing tests for his heart, but she referenced this letter in her reply.
She had the nerve to say that if Husband were to die, she would come after his estate to make sure HER kids got what was coming to them. Can you believe that? Just amazing!
It makes me very angry that she did this. The words she wrote were very hurtful and even after 12 years of being divorced, she still cannot move on. I could see if he didn’t pay child support, didn’t have medical coverage that she doesn’t have to pay for by the way, and even supports them in school fundraisers, etc. when he knows about them and is financially able to contribute. What is not fair is that she took the only thing away from him that he wanted, and that was to be a father to SD and SS.
I feel my Husband has been as supportive and loving as any human being could possibly be. With the interference and unwillingness to coparent, EX has robbed SD and SS. If there is anything good that comes of this, I hope it’s a renewed sense of love and appreciation from SD and SS for all their father did for them, even if it was from afar.
We love you SD and SS. I hope one day you’ll get to hear that.
Filed under: Family
Tomorrow afternoon Husband goes in for his Eco-Cardiogram. He turned in the Holter Monitor on Saturday morning. Hopefully by midweek we might finally have some answers.
Filed under: Family, Kid Behavior, Total Transformation | Tags: Total Transformation
Well, I can say that I’ve listened to the CD for lesson 3 and it talks about how to use other roles like coaching, to help your kids and effective ways to do it. The other 2 roles escape me right now, but I did listen, honest.
I still need to read lesson 3 in the workbook, but with Husband’s medical stuff going on, we’ve been focused on that.
I can tell you that Scoober has been trying to push buttons and he’s really getting a smart mouth, which we are not standing for that in our house. I have to admit that I’ve raised my voice and even yelled during this stressful time and I feel badly that I did that. BUT, I do think Scoober is realizing that he cannot get away with his bad behavior and talking back and talking at us the way he does. He’s taking forever to get good behavior check marks on his chart we made before school started!
I’m determined to get back on track by the weekend and have lesson 3 read and work through the examples. I will try to post back on what it says, briefly, and what I am going to try with this lesson.
Filed under: Family
I didn’t really share a whole lot, but Husband was having chest pains, aching in his muscles and some heart palpitations. Very scary stuff. He had his stress test and he did very well for not being in shape. 
He has a heart arrhythmia and throwing 3 pvc’s. He feels these happening and his neck buldges out like you think it’s going to explode as it’s beating.
Test results from stress test show that he has 100% oxygen flowing to his heart and through his blood, so that’s GREAT! There is NO blockage, so that is GREAT! Now, we have to figure out why the heart is doing this, so he is scheduled for a cardiogram and he’ll get to wear a monitor for 24 hours at some point either this week or next to see how the heart is working and what exactly is going on, hopefully.
In the meantime, Husband is still to take it easy, no strenuous activity. The Doctor, which we’ll call Doogie because he’s a young one, was very nice and seemed very knowledgeable. He changed his Rx, so we’ll see if it helps a little more with Husband’s triglycerides and bad cholesterol levels.
Got to get on Husband for not going in to get his blood work sooner. So, I asked if we could schedule that today so he doesn’t forget about it. 1 month, Husband will go in for bloodwork to check his levels again. Cannot let it go this long, almost a year since last blood test, when you’re on statins. Big no no!
Filed under: Family, Kid Behavior, My kids, Total Transformation | Tags: Total Transformation
Hi everyone! So sorry I haven’t posted, but we’ve got some families health issues going on right now.
I will say that although I’ve listened to Lesson 3, but I’m going to have to listen to it again. I’ve just continued working on myself in how I deal with Scoober. I’ve raised my voice a few times, but Im trying not to yell. He did get a little lippy with me yesterday, but I stuck to my guns and he wasn’t changing my mind. For the past 2 mornings he’s given me trouble about getting up. I wake him up, tell him what time it is, tell him breakfast is ready, that we are leaving at 8:15am. If he’s not ready, I simply say that Winks and I will be in the van please shut the door and make sure it’s locked when you come out. He was almost late yesterday, but he’s got to learn about time management. He was awake, he was just doddling.
I will hopefully be able to listen to Lesson 3 tonight and start working on that next week. I will update about Lesson 3, what it’s about and what I took from it. Then post during the week on our progress. With pending medical issues, forgive me if I don’t post right away, as my family is my number 1 priority.
Filed under: Step Life
I am wondering why exwife has to continuously make Husband feel like he’s no good. Is she not grateful that she gave her 2 wonderful children that she has successfully alienated their father from them? Is she not grateful that Husband actually has paid his support on time and every month without fail for the last 11 years? Is she not grateful that Husband has carried their children on his insurance since they divorced in 1997? Is she not grateful that Husband has kept attempting to contact the children, but she won’t let him e-mail or encourage the children to want to communicate with their father?
That’s something she’s going to have to live with, what she’s done to her own children. Once a person has been beat down emotionally, it’s no wonder that Husband feels the way he does now. How is he supposed to pick up the phone and talk to a complete stranger?
Husband use to call all the time, at least once a week, or every other week when he could get ahold of the kids. NEVER did exwife let them call him back. I can count on one hand in the last 10 years they’ve called. Actually daughter called him on her own a few times, but she was hiding in a closet. Son has called once on his own.
I hope and pray that either she will get a reality check soon, or that when the kids are finally on their own they will seek their father out. If not, Husband can look back and know that he tried his best to be a part of their lives, but an obstacle stood in his way, their mother.
Daughter is 16 and son will be 15 this year. One person once told me that exwife is teaching them how to treat her one day. We shall see.
I have a wonderful family. News of a death in Newfoundland of a young cousin of Husband’s today; not so great news of Husband’s blood results and a terrible, manipulative, mean letter from CA today. I don’t think this day can get any worse!
Filed under: Family
I really don’t like waiting until a doctor’s office opens to get test results. Especially since I’ve been up since 6:30am!
Filed under: How was my day today?, Kid Behavior, My kids | Tags: kids head injury
A couple weeks we were in the hospital with Winks because she fell into a drawer in the kitchen and needed the liquid stitches. She got a boo boo bear and a lot of attention.
Well, yesterday during recess he hit his head on the play equipment and was sent to the nurses office where the put an ice pack on it for 10 minutes, the principal called me to alert me what had happened and that he was fine and if he started showing signs of a serious head injury they would call me right away. Day went without incident and he came home.
There was no bump on the side of his head where he hit, which we were a little concerned about, but when we asked him if he cried, etc. he said no. So, Husband and I were thinking it probably wasn’t as bad as one would have us to believe.
FF to dinnertime. We decided to go out for dinner since I got paid, it’s a special thing we do every two weeks with my paycheck. Anyway, at dinner we asked how he was feeling and he said that his head hurt a little and that he was a little dizzy and his vision was blurry. So, we finished up dinner and stopped by the house to get the paper from school with the time of hte incident, etc. and headed to the ER.
After 2 hours of waiting and examination, Scoober is fine. He passed all his tests they gave him with flying colors, which was a good thing, and they said to just wake him up once during the night to make sure he knows where he is and who we are.
When the doctor left, I told Scoober that if he was not telling the whole truth about his head hurting and being dizzy that we just took time away from the doctor who might need to help someone else that is hurting a lot worse than he was. Scoober then asked if he was going to get a boo boo bear like Winks. Sigh. I really hope that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to go to the ER.
Lesson learned here; you cannot doubt your children especially when they’ve been hurt at school and you get a note from the nurse, but next time I may just monitor him at home closely and if he starts to vomit or falldown a lot, then I will take him to the ER.
Expensive lesson to learn, and we’ve still not gotten the ER bill for the copay for Winks, but it may be around $60 for her, and now $60 for Scoober. Not that it should be about money, and I’ve never been one to rush my kids to the hospital or doctor at the first sign of a sneeze, but I hope that last night’s trip showed Scoober that being sick or hurt is nothing to play around with.
Wonder what today holds? Oh, and this morning, he says he’s okay but his head hurts a little. Off to give him some tylenol.
I was going to start Lesson 3 on Wednesday, but I decided to just wait and start that on Monday.
A few more behaviors last night.
- Scoober was giving me a hard time about finishing his dinner. This was at 6:30pm, he had already eaten 1 1/2 ears of corn and picked at the rest of his dinner. Me and Husband told himhe had to eat his chicken if nothing else. He took a bite of mac and cheese and was saying he was so full. We stood our ground when other times we would’ve let him get up and he would’ve had to eat that if he got hungry later. He’s gotten smart about this, b/c he can put it in the fridge and he will just go to bed and not eat anything else to get out of it. So, we made him eat and by the time I was out from my shower at 7pm, he had eaten every piece.
- Scoober then had to do his homework, which was extremely easy, but he dragged his feet doing that. He was really tired and we knew that, so we didn’t harp on him too much on him going so slowly doing it; at least he was doing it, right?
- Then it was time for his shower. In the past, Scoober has said he wants me to sit on the toilet and talk to him about the coming days events, etc. I’ve stopped doing this b/c he’s getting a little old for Mommy to sit in the bathroom with him while he showers. I ran his water for him and turned on the shower, which I need to stop doing b/c he can do that himself, and he took his shower on his own without me just fine.
- Then, it was 7:45pm and finally we could go read his book that he was wanting to read. Winks was already put to bed and I was free to hang out with Scoober to read. Lights went out at 8:20pm and all was good.
I am so proud of myself for making the effort to change my behaviors. I still need some work, I do things for Scoober that I know he can do, he’s just gotten use to me doing it for him. So, I’m making him more responsible by enabling him to do things himself. Sometimes he makes a mess, but hey, that’s how we learn.
I’m going to listen to Lesson 3 possibly tonight and read the workbook a couple times to gear up for next week. I’ll post about Lesson 3 this weekend or by Monday. So far so good!
