Filed under: Family, Kid Behavior, Total Transformation | Tags: Total Transformation
Well, I can say that I’ve listened to the CD for lesson 3 and it talks about how to use other roles like coaching, to help your kids and effective ways to do it. The other 2 roles escape me right now, but I did listen, honest.
I still need to read lesson 3 in the workbook, but with Husband’s medical stuff going on, we’ve been focused on that.
I can tell you that Scoober has been trying to push buttons and he’s really getting a smart mouth, which we are not standing for that in our house. I have to admit that I’ve raised my voice and even yelled during this stressful time and I feel badly that I did that. BUT, I do think Scoober is realizing that he cannot get away with his bad behavior and talking back and talking at us the way he does. He’s taking forever to get good behavior check marks on his chart we made before school started!
I’m determined to get back on track by the weekend and have lesson 3 read and work through the examples. I will try to post back on what it says, briefly, and what I am going to try with this lesson.
Filed under: Family, Kid Behavior, My kids, Total Transformation | Tags: Total Transformation
Hi everyone! So sorry I haven’t posted, but we’ve got some families health issues going on right now.
I will say that although I’ve listened to Lesson 3, but I’m going to have to listen to it again. I’ve just continued working on myself in how I deal with Scoober. I’ve raised my voice a few times, but Im trying not to yell. He did get a little lippy with me yesterday, but I stuck to my guns and he wasn’t changing my mind. For the past 2 mornings he’s given me trouble about getting up. I wake him up, tell him what time it is, tell him breakfast is ready, that we are leaving at 8:15am. If he’s not ready, I simply say that Winks and I will be in the van please shut the door and make sure it’s locked when you come out. He was almost late yesterday, but he’s got to learn about time management. He was awake, he was just doddling.
I will hopefully be able to listen to Lesson 3 tonight and start working on that next week. I will update about Lesson 3, what it’s about and what I took from it. Then post during the week on our progress. With pending medical issues, forgive me if I don’t post right away, as my family is my number 1 priority.
Filed under: How was my day today?, Kid Behavior, My kids | Tags: kids head injury
A couple weeks we were in the hospital with Winks because she fell into a drawer in the kitchen and needed the liquid stitches. She got a boo boo bear and a lot of attention.
Well, yesterday during recess he hit his head on the play equipment and was sent to the nurses office where the put an ice pack on it for 10 minutes, the principal called me to alert me what had happened and that he was fine and if he started showing signs of a serious head injury they would call me right away. Day went without incident and he came home.
There was no bump on the side of his head where he hit, which we were a little concerned about, but when we asked him if he cried, etc. he said no. So, Husband and I were thinking it probably wasn’t as bad as one would have us to believe.
FF to dinnertime. We decided to go out for dinner since I got paid, it’s a special thing we do every two weeks with my paycheck. Anyway, at dinner we asked how he was feeling and he said that his head hurt a little and that he was a little dizzy and his vision was blurry. So, we finished up dinner and stopped by the house to get the paper from school with the time of hte incident, etc. and headed to the ER.
After 2 hours of waiting and examination, Scoober is fine. He passed all his tests they gave him with flying colors, which was a good thing, and they said to just wake him up once during the night to make sure he knows where he is and who we are.
When the doctor left, I told Scoober that if he was not telling the whole truth about his head hurting and being dizzy that we just took time away from the doctor who might need to help someone else that is hurting a lot worse than he was. Scoober then asked if he was going to get a boo boo bear like Winks. Sigh. I really hope that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to go to the ER.
Lesson learned here; you cannot doubt your children especially when they’ve been hurt at school and you get a note from the nurse, but next time I may just monitor him at home closely and if he starts to vomit or falldown a lot, then I will take him to the ER.
Expensive lesson to learn, and we’ve still not gotten the ER bill for the copay for Winks, but it may be around $60 for her, and now $60 for Scoober. Not that it should be about money, and I’ve never been one to rush my kids to the hospital or doctor at the first sign of a sneeze, but I hope that last night’s trip showed Scoober that being sick or hurt is nothing to play around with.
Wonder what today holds? Oh, and this morning, he says he’s okay but his head hurts a little. Off to give him some tylenol.
I was going to start Lesson 3 on Wednesday, but I decided to just wait and start that on Monday.
A few more behaviors last night.
- Scoober was giving me a hard time about finishing his dinner. This was at 6:30pm, he had already eaten 1 1/2 ears of corn and picked at the rest of his dinner. Me and Husband told himhe had to eat his chicken if nothing else. He took a bite of mac and cheese and was saying he was so full. We stood our ground when other times we would’ve let him get up and he would’ve had to eat that if he got hungry later. He’s gotten smart about this, b/c he can put it in the fridge and he will just go to bed and not eat anything else to get out of it. So, we made him eat and by the time I was out from my shower at 7pm, he had eaten every piece.
- Scoober then had to do his homework, which was extremely easy, but he dragged his feet doing that. He was really tired and we knew that, so we didn’t harp on him too much on him going so slowly doing it; at least he was doing it, right?
- Then it was time for his shower. In the past, Scoober has said he wants me to sit on the toilet and talk to him about the coming days events, etc. I’ve stopped doing this b/c he’s getting a little old for Mommy to sit in the bathroom with him while he showers. I ran his water for him and turned on the shower, which I need to stop doing b/c he can do that himself, and he took his shower on his own without me just fine.
- Then, it was 7:45pm and finally we could go read his book that he was wanting to read. Winks was already put to bed and I was free to hang out with Scoober to read. Lights went out at 8:20pm and all was good.
I am so proud of myself for making the effort to change my behaviors. I still need some work, I do things for Scoober that I know he can do, he’s just gotten use to me doing it for him. So, I’m making him more responsible by enabling him to do things himself. Sometimes he makes a mess, but hey, that’s how we learn.
I’m going to listen to Lesson 3 possibly tonight and read the workbook a couple times to gear up for next week. I’ll post about Lesson 3 this weekend or by Monday. So far so good!
You know, when you’re tired and exhausted, it’s hard not to loose your cool. I’m not perfect and I don’t plan on ever being perfect. Today I was a little loud, not yelling or screaming, but I had to raise my voice a few more times than I would’ve liked. A couple times, I probably didn’t have to, but I did.
I did not give into temptation to just let Scoober have what he wanted though, so that was a win. He didn’t feel like eating dinner, so I gave him 2 choices, he either did his homework and then eats dinner, or goes to bed and he didn’t get credit for his homework. He chose the first choice. I still think giving him choices is a good thing, but he only gets 2, it’s either one or the other, no in between. He used to give us another choice, but not anymore.
All in all, not a bad day, just tough for me. It’s harder for me, because I’ve got to watch and control my behavior to correct Scoobers. Now Winks is starting her tantrum phase and it’s a whole new deal with her. With Scoober, we had to keep him quiet due to the environment we were in, so most of the time we catered to him everytime he cried, whined, etc. Now that we are out of that environment and I can let Winks figure some stuff out on her own, it may be a little different at this age the 2nd time around.
So, you hear those commercials on the radio sometimes and you think to yourself, would this work for me? Well, after a couple years of behavior that seems to keep escalating in defiance, talking back and disrespect; Husband and I have decided to try the Total Transformation program by James Lehman.
We are in week 2, lesson 2 of the program. We’ve had almost an entire week of no yelling by either parent or child. It is giving me and Husband a little insight to why Scoober may behave the way he does and how he’s learned how certain behavior gets a reaction or a result that he either wants or needs.
We are having a good success early on and it is taking committment by both me and Husband to make it work. No family is perfect and we don’t want perfection, but we do want peace and a quieter environment.
I’ll try to share week by week our progress and what each lesson shares.
Lesson 1 is observing behavior.
Lesson 2 is figuring out your Parenting Role, which I have about 4 different ones; Martyr, Screamer, Negotiator, and Perfectionist. I also exhibit the Deep Pockets role, as well because I sometimes will buy Scoober things to make myself feel better about the way I treated him.
I’m finding a lot about myself in the process and am realizing that there are other ways to deal with situations.
Last night was one of the best nights with Scoober I can remember. We had a peaceful night after dinner we did puzzles and read his Boys Life Magazine before going to bed. I think it makes him feel good too seeing that Mommy doesn’t get all upset all the time. Of course, this is a work in progress and I don’t always feel like I’m doing it right, but I just take a deep breath and do my best.
Well, it’s official, my Scoober isn’t going to be the next, oh what’s that famous soccer players name? As you can tell, I have no clue about soccer. It almost all seems pointless to me; you run back and forth, if the other team looks like they are going to get the ball you kick it out of bounds so they are forced to throw it in, and you try to get it as quickly down the field and score a goal before the other team catches up to you. Or at least, that how they play at this age level, age 6.
Scoober has always wanted to play soccer since age 4. In the small town we lived in in Oregon, they would limit the number of kids that could sign up, and because it was so popular, if you didn’t sign up the first day of registration, you didn’t get to play. So, we were never able to get him signed up there.
Since moving to Colorado, we still live in a small town, but it’s a little larger and they do not limit the number of players. They just let as many sign up that want to play, and then they divide them evenly to form teams. There are 6 teams in his age group.
This was their 2nd game. Scoober, you could tell, just doesn’t like all the running with no purpose. He got hit in the head and got tangled up with one boy and they both hit the deck pretty hard. He got up and puckered up, but then got it together and stayed in the game. I felt so bad, you know one of those moments as a mother you want to run out there on the field, but I just kept myself firmly planted on the bench and just yelled out reassurance that it was okay and way to shake it off.
After the game, he said he didn’t think he wanted to play soccer anymore. I asked him if he was sure, and he said it was a little rough out there today. I said yes, it was a little rougher than basketball, but it’s good to try things we are interested in to find out what we are good at and what we like.
He wants to quit and play baseball, but I told him signups for baseball have come and gone. I may still be able to get him on, but I told him that he made a commitment to play soccer and he needs to finish out the season. There are only 3 more games, and 6 more practices. I don’t want to force him to continue, and if he really doesn’t want to do it, I guess I’ll ahve to figure out a way to spin it around to teach a lesson that you should finish what you start, and if you don’t think you’ll want to finish it, then you shouldn’t do it to begin with.
He wants to play flag football, adn when when KY Grandma said to him that it would be rougher, Scoober says, “not in flag football”. HA!
It’s only $30 to sign up, and it’s not really about the money, but I do want him to experience everything, I just don’t want him to feel like he can quit anytime he wants.
I’ll have to update how this weeks practices go. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow and he was going to have to miss practice tomorrow anyway, so I’ll update later in the week.
I’m the last person to be a saint when it comes to cleaning. I’m not the best housewife. I dust, vacuum, etc maybe once a month if we’re lucky. It’s easy to say, well ask your husband to help you, but when we are all pulled in different directions all week and the weekends come, the last thing we want to do is clean.
So, Grandma & Papaw are coming for a visit. My part of cleaning is routine, it needs to be done anyway, so it’s just doing it that takes time. I procrastinate and I can admit that. I was going to clean the spare room weeks ago, but did I get around to it, NO, so now I have to do it this weekend and if it doesn’t get done, then I’m spending my day Tuesday and Friday to get it all done!
My son, Scoober is the worst in cleaning his room. He has SO much stuff, mostly it just needs organizing which I’ve done for him numerous times, but he gets sidetracked very easily and starts playing. I told him that I am not raising him to be a pig and that he needed to get his room and closet straightened up. His problem is that he doesn’t want to part with ANYTHING!!! Of course, he has some influences which shall remain nameless, that make him think it’s okay to keep EVERY SINGLE THING ANYONE GETS HIM!!!
If I did that, this entire house would be full of stuff from my 35 years on this planet, and I simply will not live like that, or raise my children to live like that. My rule, if I haven’t worn it or used it in over a year or longer, then I must not need it that badly. If I ever need it again, I’ll just buy it.
So, I really don’t want to take things away from Scoober, since it doesn’t work anyway to get my point across, but I did tell him that he will get no priveleges; like watching TV, playing outside, dessert, etc. We let him pick a reward at the end of the week if he had a good week at school and in the mornings getting ready. So, that will cease, too, if he cannot get his room cleaned.
I helped him today and showed him what I meant about clutter and how when you straightened up something how neat it looked. Still there is a lot of stuff, but if it’s arranged neatly, then it doesn’t look so bad. He got distracted of course and ended up playing most of the day.
I’m just at a loss here. I told him that if it’s too overwhelming that maybe he needs to get rid of some things, that way he doesn’t have as much to clean up.
Any ideas? We’ve bought him tubs to store things, an organizer station to put in his closet. I’m going to clean out his dresser that we put his out of season clothes in, and let him use a couple drawers to put puzzles, games, etc. in.
Mommy Can I…
…wear shorts to basketball practice when it’s 20 degrees outside?
…eat pizza after I’ve been sick and throwing up all day yesterday?
…not take a shower all week and finally take one on Saturday?
…go over to my friends house when I have homework, basketball practice and Scouts the same day?
…clean my room later?
…make my bed on the weekend?
These are all recents “Mommy Can I…” requests from Scoober. He’s quite a negotiator, but he’s too smart for his own good. His room is the biggest problem we have, oh and treating his sister like she’s old enough to roll around on the ground with, but she does instigate a lot of it sometimes. Why is he so loud? Is he deaf? 
So, we are back from our trip! We made it! I have an 8 month old and a 6 year old. I wasn’t sure how it would go, especially with the baby because I have never flown with a child under 3 years old.
What I packed:
*8 diapers
*Plenty of wipes in that travel container that comes with Huggies
*I bought a formula bowl that holds 3 compartments for formula.
*I brought 2 changes of clothes (onesies), sweater, hat, receiving blanket, 1 bottle, 1 spoon, 1 jar of food, and favorite link toys, of and of course a pacifier.
*I also packed; baby tylenol, children’s tylenol, Imodium (for me), hand sanitizer, wet ones travel pack, mints and chapstick.
*I let Scoober pack his own backpack; included some small books with games in them, one lego project, snacks, wallet, sweater.
Now, we flew Frontier, which has television screens on the back of every seat. This was great, for both kiddos. Scoober wanted to watch regular TV, which costs $5.99 for our 2 1/2 hour flight. He ended up watching the flight path, which was free, so I did not purchase the TV on the way home. Winks loved watching the screen, when she was awake, also.
We flew at 3pm leaving, which was perfect since Winks usually is napping during this time. I gave her a bottle before we took off, mainly because she saw me mixing it. She finished it before we took off, and then took her pacifier so I wasn’t sure how it would go. She fell asleep during take off and slept about 1/2 way through the flight. The rest of the flight she was happy and VERY squirmy!
When we left, we flew out at 8pm. Our flight was delayed, but I managed to not give Winks her bottle until we started to taxi. We had dinner before we went through security and I fed her while we ate, as well. Winks finished her bottle as we were taking off and stayed awake for a few minutes, mainly because she heard other babies crying. I was praying that she didn’t start crying, as well. She fell asleep, and I kid you not, slept the entire flight!
Scoober was a little more antsy on the way back, probably because he was tired because it was so late due to the time change. He fell asleep 1/2 way through the flight and slept till we landed.
All in all, I would have to recommend Frontier to anyone with kids. We usually fly Southwest, but Frontier had a direct flight to our location, which I also recommend if you can find one. It’s definitely worth the extra expense. Bring your own snacks though because they are SO expensive on the plane. Drinks are free, but we bought juice and water before boarding.
Also, I highly recommend bringing a stroller. Not your large expensive one, but an umbrella stroller. It was so much easier to maneuver and to have Winks in it instead of carrying her. Plus, I didn’t have to stress about if my expensive jogger stroller got broken while stored below the plane.
Tips: Travel when children are usually napping. Feed children before boarding the plane. Make sure EVERYONE goes to the bathroom before you board the plane. Change the baby’s diaper before boarding the plane.
