Mommy Can I

More and more, I am realizing how lucky and fortunate I am to have Husband in my life. Although the EX is trying her best to make Husband upset, she is only making herself out to look like the insensitive, heartless and wreckless person she really is, and I’m being nice here.

Husband and I kept going back and forth about telling EX about his pending medical tests and we felt that she needed to know, as she is the mother of his other children. This summer she has started in on Husband about pending college costs for SD and how their court order says the parents shall pay for post secondary education. Well, Husband really is wondering how this will all work out and the courts will likely be the final say on this issue. Of course EX doesn’t like that answer and she is doing everything she can to try to make Husband blow his top, or have a heart attack. This way she can take it to the judge and say look, he’s not cooperating and he’s being mean. By the way, WA State doesn’t “make” parents pay for college and unless there is some extreme income involved, it’s rare that a judge would award post secondary support unless there was a significant need.

All he asked of her, after he answered her claims with her own letters and information for other issues she raised which probably upset her that she was caught in her web of lies, that she hold off on any other correspondence unless it was absolutely necessary. I would’ve given her the benefit of the doubt, as she might not have received his last letter stating this and that he was undergoing tests for his heart, but she referenced this letter in her reply. 

 She had the nerve to say that if Husband were to die, she would come after his estate to make sure HER kids got what was coming to them. Can you believe that? Just amazing!

It makes me very angry that she did this. The words she wrote were very hurtful and even after 12 years of being divorced, she still cannot move on. I could see if he didn’t pay child support, didn’t have medical coverage that she doesn’t have to pay for by the way, and even supports them in school fundraisers, etc. when he knows about them and is financially able to contribute. What is not fair is that she took the only thing away from him that he wanted, and that was to be a father to SD and SS.

I feel my Husband has been as supportive and loving as any human being could possibly be. With the interference and unwillingness to coparent, EX has robbed SD and SS. If there is anything good that comes of this, I hope it’s a renewed sense of love and appreciation from SD and SS for all their father did for them, even if it was from afar.

We love you SD and SS. I hope one day you’ll get to hear that.

I am wondering why exwife has to continuously make Husband feel like he’s no good. Is she not grateful that she gave her 2 wonderful children that she has successfully alienated their father from them? Is she not grateful that Husband actually has paid his support on time and every month without fail for the last 11 years? Is she not grateful that Husband has carried their children on his insurance since they divorced in 1997? Is she not grateful that Husband has kept attempting to contact the children, but she won’t let him e-mail or encourage the children to want to communicate with their father?

That’s something she’s going to have to live with, what she’s done to her own children. Once a person has been beat down emotionally, it’s no wonder that Husband feels the way he does now. How is he supposed to pick up the phone and talk to a complete stranger?

Husband use to call all the time, at least once a week, or every other week when he could get ahold of the kids. NEVER did exwife let them call him back. I can count on one hand in the last 10 years they’ve called. Actually daughter called him on her own a few times, but she was hiding in a closet. Son has called once on his own.

I hope and pray that either she will get a reality check soon, or that when the kids are finally on their own they will seek their father out. If not, Husband can look back and know that he tried his best to be a part of their lives, but an obstacle stood in his way, their mother.

Daughter is 16 and son will be 15 this year. One person once told me that exwife is teaching them how to treat her one day. We shall see.

So, it’s been a rather quiet few months not hearing from HER, but I guess it had to come to an end sometime.

Not sure if I posted in Nov. or not, but EX sent letter requesting that Husband exchange financials with her, as they are court-ordered to do so. We, yes I helped him on this one, got this together within a week and sent it out before Thanksgiving.

We received a letter in December from EX stating that she just couldn’t get her information together before the end of the year, and that she would work on it after the New Year.

So, we wait, and wait, and it finally came in the mail on Friday. It was a very comical read to see how EX lives and what she feels is fair and her “right” because she has the kids all the time. By the way, that’s her choice, not my Husband’s.

Anyway, Husband did not want to sit on this because he was getting irritated and wanted to type out his response. It took up a lot of family time, which Husband hates, and so do I. Finally, he has a respectable response. I DID NOT help him write it, I helped him get the correct pay, taxes, and insurance numbers for his pay, but I only proofread and gave suggestions, which I’m pleased to say Husband took.

She’s just a nuisance and we both wish she would just grow up and be an adult. I guess she must feel that in her mind, she’s doing this for the kids, but really, she’s damaged them by not letting Husband be in their lives. She’s a control freak that is spiraling out of control and she’s grasping at ways to try to make Husband explode so that she can use it against him in court. But, as long as I’m around, it won’t happen.

We do owe her a bit of money for 2008 unreimbursed expenses for medical and dental visits, which we will pay shortly, as well.

It’s just so irritating to see that she is making over $80K a year, gets over $7K back in federal and state taxes last year, and she’s complaining that Husband needs to give the oldest child’s exemption to her so she can have more money because he doesn’t pay for their activities, school, etc. Husband sends monthly child support, which the court deemed appropriate and just, yet she still wants more.

I seriously doubt she will file for modification, I honestly think this was more a way she felt she could try to make Husband mad and to find out what our lifestyle was like. Hasn’t changed much, we still live pretty modest and frugally.

I’ll have to update when there is a verdict on her end. HA!