You know, when you’re tired and exhausted, it’s hard not to loose your cool. I’m not perfect and I don’t plan on ever being perfect. Today I was a little loud, not yelling or screaming, but I had to raise my voice a few more times than I would’ve liked. A couple times, I probably didn’t have to, but I did.
I did not give into temptation to just let Scoober have what he wanted though, so that was a win. He didn’t feel like eating dinner, so I gave him 2 choices, he either did his homework and then eats dinner, or goes to bed and he didn’t get credit for his homework. He chose the first choice. I still think giving him choices is a good thing, but he only gets 2, it’s either one or the other, no in between. He used to give us another choice, but not anymore.
All in all, not a bad day, just tough for me. It’s harder for me, because I’ve got to watch and control my behavior to correct Scoobers. Now Winks is starting her tantrum phase and it’s a whole new deal with her. With Scoober, we had to keep him quiet due to the environment we were in, so most of the time we catered to him everytime he cried, whined, etc. Now that we are out of that environment and I can let Winks figure some stuff out on her own, it may be a little different at this age the 2nd time around.
So, you hear those commercials on the radio sometimes and you think to yourself, would this work for me? Well, after a couple years of behavior that seems to keep escalating in defiance, talking back and disrespect; Husband and I have decided to try the Total Transformation program by James Lehman.
We are in week 2, lesson 2 of the program. We’ve had almost an entire week of no yelling by either parent or child. It is giving me and Husband a little insight to why Scoober may behave the way he does and how he’s learned how certain behavior gets a reaction or a result that he either wants or needs.
We are having a good success early on and it is taking committment by both me and Husband to make it work. No family is perfect and we don’t want perfection, but we do want peace and a quieter environment.
I’ll try to share week by week our progress and what each lesson shares.
Lesson 1 is observing behavior.
Lesson 2 is figuring out your Parenting Role, which I have about 4 different ones; Martyr, Screamer, Negotiator, and Perfectionist. I also exhibit the Deep Pockets role, as well because I sometimes will buy Scoober things to make myself feel better about the way I treated him.
I’m finding a lot about myself in the process and am realizing that there are other ways to deal with situations.
Last night was one of the best nights with Scoober I can remember. We had a peaceful night after dinner we did puzzles and read his Boys Life Magazine before going to bed. I think it makes him feel good too seeing that Mommy doesn’t get all upset all the time. Of course, this is a work in progress and I don’t always feel like I’m doing it right, but I just take a deep breath and do my best.
Filed under: Family
Sorry about not updating. It’s so busy around here now, and with me working, time is limited.
We are all doing well. Husband switched jobs and has a little more peace in the workplace. Scoober has decided that he doesn’t want to run track; too much running, so he will concentrate on basketball. (I was never a good track runner either. Hated all that running!) Winks is such a character. She is a drama queen, oh brother! She is silly, does some of the cutest faces, and she just loves her brother. Let’s hope that continues over the years.
I am doing good. I’ve kind of been stuck on my weight. I’ve just got to make time to do some abdominal exercises. Just seems that I’m always on the go, and the little time I do have I just want to relax and hang out. It will come off, just 20 lbs to my goal, I just need to make it a priority again.
Paying down our debt is slow going. We’ve decided that paying off our car by the end of the year to free up a larger sum to actually pay off the other debts quicker made more sense. So, I’m putting an extra amount each month towards the car payment and it should be paid off 7 months early. Then we can really start to accelerate payoff of the rest of our debt.
Well, I guess that catches us up for now. No big plans for summer. Still debating whether me and the kids will fly back to KY, so we’ll see.
Oh, Husband and Scoober are going camping next weekend at the Scout camp here in Colorado. Should be fun and Ill have to update with pictures when they return. It will just be me and Winks for 3 days, wonder what we can do?
We will all be camping out in July for the first time EVER. The Cub Scout Pack is having a fun weekend campout here in the town we live in. Should be fun!
Filed under: Sign of the Times
I have to tell you that I enjoy updating my blog when I get a chance. We started a FB page, both me and Husband to update family and friends and reconnect with people we lost touch with over the years. Husband has started TWT and even started his own blog.
I started TWT today for my employer and set up a blog. I can see how TWT can get addicting because it’s so simple and easy.
Makes you wonder why people would even think about sending e-mails, letters or even make phone calls anymore when you can just look on the TWT page and see what they are doing.
You know, I was reading in my Woman’s Day magazine and they were talking about losing weight and to stick to what helped you lose weight. Last Fall, I started using a modified version of the WW points system. I didn’t join WW, but I had a friend that shared the point values with me. I lost almost 25 lbs, without the added exercise.
Well, I’m more mobile now with work, running to practices with Scoober, playing around with Winks, and now all the outside yard work, etc. to do, but my diet is struggling.
So, for my 36th birthday, argh 36, I am going to figure out my points system and start doing it again. I’m going to figure out Husband’s too, as he is having problems with his blood sugar and it’s partly weight related. If I could lose another 25 lbs before the holidays like last year, I will be at my goal weight of 150lbs.
Nowhere! Well, we are going to Utah for Scoober’s birthday. He wants to see his Nanny and celebrate his birthday. He’s got his next 2 birthdays planned, as well. Next year is Chucky Cheese and the following year is KY.
With trying to pay off our debt and still wanting to enjoy our summer, we’ve decided that this Utah trip will probably be our vacation. Husband is taking off 1 week in June, but 1/2 of it will be at Scout camp with Scoober.
So, I’m on a mission to find something for us to do while we are in Utah that he will enjoy.
Well, it’s official, my Scoober isn’t going to be the next, oh what’s that famous soccer players name? As you can tell, I have no clue about soccer. It almost all seems pointless to me; you run back and forth, if the other team looks like they are going to get the ball you kick it out of bounds so they are forced to throw it in, and you try to get it as quickly down the field and score a goal before the other team catches up to you. Or at least, that how they play at this age level, age 6.
Scoober has always wanted to play soccer since age 4. In the small town we lived in in Oregon, they would limit the number of kids that could sign up, and because it was so popular, if you didn’t sign up the first day of registration, you didn’t get to play. So, we were never able to get him signed up there.
Since moving to Colorado, we still live in a small town, but it’s a little larger and they do not limit the number of players. They just let as many sign up that want to play, and then they divide them evenly to form teams. There are 6 teams in his age group.
This was their 2nd game. Scoober, you could tell, just doesn’t like all the running with no purpose. He got hit in the head and got tangled up with one boy and they both hit the deck pretty hard. He got up and puckered up, but then got it together and stayed in the game. I felt so bad, you know one of those moments as a mother you want to run out there on the field, but I just kept myself firmly planted on the bench and just yelled out reassurance that it was okay and way to shake it off.
After the game, he said he didn’t think he wanted to play soccer anymore. I asked him if he was sure, and he said it was a little rough out there today. I said yes, it was a little rougher than basketball, but it’s good to try things we are interested in to find out what we are good at and what we like.
He wants to quit and play baseball, but I told him signups for baseball have come and gone. I may still be able to get him on, but I told him that he made a commitment to play soccer and he needs to finish out the season. There are only 3 more games, and 6 more practices. I don’t want to force him to continue, and if he really doesn’t want to do it, I guess I’ll ahve to figure out a way to spin it around to teach a lesson that you should finish what you start, and if you don’t think you’ll want to finish it, then you shouldn’t do it to begin with.
He wants to play flag football, adn when when KY Grandma said to him that it would be rougher, Scoober says, “not in flag football”. HA!
It’s only $30 to sign up, and it’s not really about the money, but I do want him to experience everything, I just don’t want him to feel like he can quit anytime he wants.
I’ll have to update how this weeks practices go. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow and he was going to have to miss practice tomorrow anyway, so I’ll update later in the week.
Although we could afford to continue paying to have what we want, we are trying to reduce some credit debt, so we are going to sacrafice things we do not need.
1. I reduced our cable package to $29.99 and we now have 50 channels, plus all local channels. Sports channels will just have to go to the back burner until Fall.
2. We are dropping our prepaid cell phones and getting cell phone service bundled into our Qwest package. This will give us more reliable service and it will be roughly the same amount we were purchasing the prepaid cards for. We did have to pay for the cell phones, but I got 2 cell phones for under $25.00.
3. Once we activate the cell phones, I will cancel our unlimited long distance of $20/month and just get a minute plan for the home phone for emergencies.
Total savings:
DirecTV $50.99 to $29.99 = $21.00 savings
Cell phone $45 – $60 to $60.99 = $0 savings
Home phone $59.99 to $30 – $40 = $19 to $29 savings
Every little bit helps.
I think we are going to look at how we can reduce our energy costs. Our electric bill is only $65/month, but seems to be high considering we’ve replaced all the bulbs. May need to unplug things.
Our grocery bill stays constant at roughly $300 to $400 a month. We’ve GOT to stop eating out! I’ve budgeted $50/month for eating out, but we usually go over that. May need to go on a cash system and then when the money is gone, no more eating out.
I’m attempting to contact my credit card companies, hopefully tomorrow, and ask for a lower interest rate, or a credit limit increase on my lower rate card to transfer my other balances to it. We already were able to get a consolidation loan for 1/2 of the debt, mostly Husband’s, but if I could consolidate my own, then it would save even more.
My paychecks are going to paying off my debt, which will start back up this month. We had some family expenses; soccer, new shoes, etc. that popped up, so we took care of that with cash instead of charging it, which I have to say was very liberating!
Filed under: Family
Our Easter holiday was quiet. We had a nice time going to church as a family, then taking an afternoon nap, which rarely happens, and then waking up to the smell of turkey in the oven. We enjoyed a nice turkey dinner with green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, biscuits and deviled eggs. I had the turkey leftover from Thanksgiving when they were on sale, so I froze it and viola, turkey for Easter!
The kids had fun Friday evening at a easter egg hunt and party held here in our community by on of our close friends. Here are a couple pictures:
I’ve really just let myself and my eating go as of late. I’ve got the love handles back on my waist and I’m tired!
I vow this week to get back on my WW points program I started last year that helped me lose 25 lbs. Hopefully I can get the remaining 20 lbs off before the end of the year.
